The Spoken Word

 
Why Am I Still Single…?  (part 2)

Here it is May'2009: I have tried E-Harmony, FaithMate, On-line dating, Singles On Line; I've changed my appearance, bought a new wardrobe, had a face lift and a tummy tuck (to look more attractive); I moved my membership to a different church where there are more single people. I was in a long time relationship with her - I did everything to make her feel special. I gave her a ring, because I just knew "she was the one". I've been prophesied over 6 times that mine is on the way. I've even resorted to reading my horoscope daily.

Why Am I still single...?

For the last couple of years in the Month of May - Charleen Lacy Ministries would host a Singles Empowerment conference. There won't be one this year - Sorry. However, God moved upon me to reach out to you by way of this on-line newsletter. I wanted to throw this little nugget at you just to let you know that God has not forgotten about us and that our singleness is very much so - on the fore-front of His heart. Amen?

If by chance you have said or have done the above things and more, please give me a moment to share my hope with you.

If you are married but you know someone who is single, feel free to read it and forward it. There are so many who are struggling with being single; and then there are some who have turned their singleness into a testimony. Keep reading.

The World has been so caught up in the recession and the things that are going on in our foreign countries. We are trying to stretch the 15th out to the 30th (that next paycheck). People are totally flipping out - just to survive. Even though all of those things are happening - we still struggle with loneliness - and if we are not careful the adversary will find some way to prey upon our weakness. Again, God has not forgotten, but we must encourage ourselves.

If you notice that I am using the words "us" and "we" and that is because I have not yet arrived - and I have not earned a degree in how to be single. However, I have found a place of contentment. Amen!! I have also found that sometimes we can learn a lot from someone who knows exactly where we are. That's why God sent me today to encourage you. If you don't hear anything else I say - just know that you have a sister in Seattle, Washington who understands and wants to help you rest in your singleness.

Take note - I am not knocking those on-line organizations that I mentioned in the beginning. My point is - we've tried everything out there and nothing seems to work. I want to encourage you stop looking everywhere for a commitment, and start seeking contentment. Philippians 4:11 says it so well. "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."

Living single is a challenge - especially for those of us who are trying to follow the Guidelines of Holiness. We've been pressured to the point that we've acted out of our spiritual character. We've compromised our faith just to "get in and fit in". Some of us are angry and hurting inside, because we want companionship and we want to feel validated. My Friend, when God created us, He validated us! Hold your head up, don't allow the enemy to trick you into thinking otherwise. Psalms 139:14 says - "We are fearfully and wonderfully made - marvelous are thy works."

Many of us are running to and fro, but have we stopped long enough to ask ourselves - What is God's plan for me? We have this revelation from somewhere that we have to be married. It's 2009, all my friends are married. All my friends have a "friend-friend". Hey! Wait! Are we missing something?

What do you mean, Charleen?

Well, I am not here to discourage your thoughts and desires for wanting companionship. Psalm 37:4 says, "He shall give thee the desires of thine heart." I am not saying God will not honor our desire, but many of us are living on Fantasy Island - and not living in the right now. Perhaps the spirit of Lord did affirm with you that you will marry. (I can't tell you what God did or didn't say to you) However, I can encourage you to rest and don't get weary. If God said it, it is so. Live! What is contentment: Lord, if I marry - ok. If I never marry - OK. Why, because as long as God is first in my life; as long as it's His will and not mine - I'm satisfied with who I am and where I am.

Let me encourage you to not be so focused on getting ready for tomorrow that you miss out on living and enjoying today. Stop hanging around waiting for him/her to validate you. Enjoy the beauty of the Lord that is upon you. (Psalm 90:17). Whether we meet and mate or live and let live - God is holding the time clock. He's watching every minute, by the minute. Don't worry about your biological clock and the fact that you are 40 years old. How much time have we spent with HIM?

As I reach a close (I wish I had more time) - I just want us to consider our thoughts and our ways. The bible says in Jeremiah 29:11, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. This tells me that we are on God's mind and He does have a plan. He is the secret to our success. He is the only one that has our "expected end". Further in that chapter it says that we shall seek him and find him, when we search for him with all our heart! It's time to seek God on matters of the heart!

Find your place of contentment (in God) and live! Being content does not mean - we've given up on wanting a relationship with someone. It simply means - in THY hands I commit my emotions, my soul, my entire being - and I am ok with where I am at.

Always remember - What God Has For You, it is for You! Amen!

Go In Peace!

"Lil'Mama"
Your Sister and Friend