The Spoken Word

 

I Almost Gave Up

 A Testimony of a Real Life Challenge…

 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13

By now everyone that knows me, knows my brother, Michael Lynn Lacy.  There is not a day that goes by that he is not mentioned in my conversation. The reason being is he has been a big percentage of my life and I wanted to share with you how God turned grief, bereavement, and responsibility into a Ministry.   

In January 1996, the Lord called my mother home, and of course that changed our lives forever.  In addition to me going through the grieving process, somebody had to consider my brother Michael.  I could not imagine in my mind what my dad was going through.  In March of 1996 my parents would have celebrated 50 years of Marriage. God saw fit to remove her from this earth.  So, with all that in mind, in December I took Michael into my home to care for him. Michael is 48 years old and is mentally challenged.  My parents had four children and Michael is the third child.  It’s my understanding that when he was younger he suffered with low blood sugar, which resulted in severe brain damage and now suffers with Grand Mal seizures.  The seizures however are controlled by Phenobarbital. I remember my mother and father spent many days and nights going back and forth to the Hospital. To this day, as a grown man, Michael is terrified of doctors.  

Michael attended and completed Special Education. Even though his world was and still is limited, Mama managed to keep him active in the Specialized Programs such as the Special Olympics. This program has events going on almost every day of the week.  Activities range from swimming to football. Michael is an excellent Bowler and loves Basketball. He bowls every Saturday and will challenge anybody.  

Even though Michael has a disability, he has managed to keep a part time job.  Michael’s reading and writing skills are very limited, but once he finds something he likes to do -- he works hard at it.  Right now Michael is employed with Seattle Central Community College through a program called Mainstay, which was established in 1980. They provide learning opportunities “to individuals from varied backgrounds and value diversity”. It “emphasizes direct work experience and training tailored to the worker, rather than focusing on past experiences and expectations”.  He was honored this year for 15 years of service. In addition to all of the above activities, Michael has a girlfriend name Helen.  They are “an item”.  

In May’2005 Michael became a member of the Truevine Missionary Baptist Church under the leadership of Pastor Ricky and Michelle Willis.  Everyone has embraced Michael to the fullest.  He is active in the Male Chorus, and is always willing to help wherever needed.

Just by reading the above, you can picture a very active, independent, attractive young man.  However, caring for Michael has been a life-changing experience for me. Before my mother passed, I was traveling all the time; I lived in a one bedroom and was living a real “single Christian life”.  All of that changed in January 1996. This is when God began to turn grief, bereavement, and responsibility into a ministry and a testimony.

In October of 1996 I moved into a two bedroom because I knew I was going to move Michael in with me. That was a challenge, because I had to look for a place that was centrally located. Seeing that Michael’s means of transportation to work would be Metro Transit, we needed to live somewhere not too far off the bus line and somewhere that would be a one to two-bus commute. 

“Special Transportation” for Michael was never an issue, because riding the bus gave him a sense of independence. I try to do everything it takes to give him his independence. 

It took me about a year to figure out how to live the life of a sister/parent Doctor/Counselor.

There have been days when I wanted to give up, but the Angel of Mercy would always show up.  Sometimes I got tired of the repetitious lifestyle.  With challenged people – sometimes things in your life are going to be repetitious.  That’s the only way they can catch on.  Every morning before going to work my routine consisted of checking his medicine, making his lunch, making sure he is fully dressed and ready to go.  My evening routine consisted of checking his medicine, getting his dinner and his work clothes ready before going to bed. Even thought I’m his younger sister, I still had to make sure he bathed correctly.  Yes, that within itself was a task, because I’m his sister. I’m Praising God today that in my efforts to caring for him, Michael has not had a seizure while being under my care. He does have his grieving moments, but the grief is passing to the point where we can sit down and laugh about our times with Mama.

For the first four years I made changes in my life for my brother.  I have sacrificed a lot of time and energy to make sure he was comfortable and happy. When you care for a disabled person, you make a lot of changes.  You remove yourself from the “single” life.  My mother made sacrifices. She never believed in putting my brother in an “Adult Home” as long as she was alive.  I have vowed that as long as I live, and God allows me to have a roof over my head and give me the strength, Michael will have a place to call home.  

God taught me that my ministry begins with Michael and everything else has to follow. It took me four years to get balanced. 

My life came to a screeching halt when my brother came on the scene. Thanks to God I can actually say that, with God this thing is under control.  God taught me patience because I had to go at a slower pace.  He taught me perseverance because against all odds, I had to keep going.  He taught me humility – because I had to admit my weakness.  In order to do ministry, you must go through a process. In order to have a testimony, you must first experience the test.  When I tried to change Michael, God told me to stop trying to change him, and for me to change. After I accepted the fact that caring for my brother was a 24/7 task, I was able to get my own life back on track, and now I have time to care for and love myself.  I now have time to do the things I’ve put on hold for years.

Has God given you something to do and it just seems impossible? Have you been at that “almost” state.  Have you been given a responsibility that is going to require your time for the rest of your life?  Perhaps you have a family member with a disability that demands your attention. Don’t give up!!  Just know that God will not put more upon you than you are able to bear.  Matthew 11:28-30 says “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find REST unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Take God at His word.  If He said it, believe it!!   God has given you the power to turn that situation around and make it work for you. He did it for me!!  That very thing that seems impossible to you, God is working something in YOU to help someone else.  If I never preach another sermon or sing another song, I will always have a ministry pleasing to God, and that is what is important.   Amen!!

 August, 2006