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The Spoken Word
I Almost Gave
Up
A Testimony of
a Real Life Challenge…
I
had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land
of the living. Psalm 27:13
By now everyone that knows me, knows my brother, Michael Lynn
Lacy. There is not a day that goes by that he is not mentioned in my
conversation. The reason being is he has been a big percentage of my life and I
wanted to share with you how God turned grief, bereavement, and responsibility
into a Ministry.
In January
1996, the Lord called my mother home, and of course that changed our lives
forever. In addition to me going through the grieving process, somebody had to
consider my brother Michael. I could not imagine in my mind what my dad was
going through. In March of 1996 my parents would have celebrated 50 years of
Marriage. God saw fit to remove her from this earth. So, with all that in mind,
in December I took Michael into my home to care for him. Michael is 48 years old
and is mentally challenged. My parents had four children and Michael is the
third child. It’s my understanding that when he was younger he suffered with
low blood sugar, which resulted in severe brain damage and now suffers with
Grand Mal seizures. The seizures however are controlled by Phenobarbital. I
remember my mother and father spent many days and nights going back and forth to
the Hospital. To this day, as a grown man, Michael is terrified of doctors.
Michael
attended and completed Special Education. Even though his world was and still is
limited, Mama managed to keep him active in the Specialized Programs such as the
Special Olympics. This program has events going on almost every day of the
week. Activities range from swimming to football. Michael is an excellent
Bowler and loves Basketball. He bowls every Saturday and will challenge
anybody.
Even though
Michael has a disability, he has managed to keep a part time job. Michael’s
reading and writing skills are very limited, but once he finds something he
likes to do -- he works hard at it. Right now Michael is employed with Seattle
Central Community College through a program called Mainstay, which was
established in 1980. They provide learning opportunities “to individuals from
varied backgrounds and value diversity”. It “emphasizes direct work experience
and training tailored to the worker, rather than focusing on past experiences
and expectations”. He was honored this year for 15 years of service. In
addition to all of the above activities, Michael has a girlfriend name Helen.
They are “an item”.
In May’2005
Michael became a member of the Truevine Missionary Baptist Church under the
leadership of Pastor Ricky and Michelle Willis. Everyone has embraced Michael
to the fullest. He is active in the Male Chorus, and is always willing to help
wherever needed.
Just by
reading the above, you can picture a very active, independent, attractive young
man. However, caring for Michael has been a life-changing experience for me.
Before my mother passed, I was traveling all the time; I lived in a one bedroom
and was living a real “single Christian life”. All of that changed in January
1996. This is when God began to turn grief, bereavement, and responsibility into
a ministry and a testimony.
In October
of 1996 I moved into a two bedroom because I knew I was going to move Michael in
with me. That was a challenge, because I had to look for a place that was
centrally located. Seeing that Michael’s means of transportation to work would
be Metro Transit, we needed to live somewhere not too far off the bus line and
somewhere that would be a one to two-bus commute.
“Special
Transportation” for Michael was never an issue, because riding the bus gave him
a sense of independence. I try to do everything it takes to give him his
independence.
It
took me about a year to figure out how to live the life of a sister/parent
Doctor/Counselor.
There have
been days when I wanted to give up, but the Angel of Mercy would always show
up. Sometimes I got tired of the repetitious lifestyle. With challenged people
– sometimes things in your life are going to be repetitious. That’s the only
way they can catch on. Every morning before going to work my routine consisted
of checking his medicine, making his lunch, making sure he is fully dressed and
ready to go. My evening routine consisted of checking his medicine, getting his
dinner and his work clothes ready before going to bed. Even thought I’m his
younger sister, I still had to make sure he bathed correctly. Yes, that within
itself was a task, because I’m his sister. I’m Praising God today that in my
efforts to caring for him, Michael has not had a seizure while being under my
care. He does have his grieving moments, but the grief is passing to the point
where we can sit down and laugh about our times with Mama.
For the
first four years I made changes in my life for my brother. I have sacrificed a
lot of time and energy to make sure he was comfortable and happy. When you
care for a disabled person, you make a lot of changes. You remove yourself
from the “single” life. My mother made sacrifices. She never believed in
putting my brother in an “Adult Home” as long as she was alive. I have vowed
that as long as I live, and God allows me to have a roof over my head and give
me the strength, Michael will have a place to call home.
God taught
me that my ministry begins with Michael and everything else has to follow. It
took me four years to get balanced.
My life came
to a screeching halt when my brother came on the scene. Thanks to God I can
actually say that, with God this thing is under control. God taught me
patience because I had to go at a slower pace. He taught me perseverance
because against all odds, I had to keep going. He taught me humility – because
I had to admit my weakness. In order to do ministry, you must go through a
process. In order to have a testimony, you must first experience the test. When
I tried to change Michael, God told me to stop trying to change him, and for me
to change. After I accepted the fact that caring for my brother was a 24/7 task,
I was able to get my own life back on track, and now I have time to care for and
love myself. I now have time to do the things I’ve put on hold for years.
August,
2006
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